INTERESTING WEDDING DINNER

Yesterday, I attended an interesting and special wedding dinner. Special is in term of the arrangement of the flow. She is my sister’s classmate and also my classmate’s sister. Confuse? Hehe… In the dinner, they had a slot for the bridegroom and groom to have a dance, a romantic one. It is open to all couples as well. Next, it is followed by dance floor, party-kind of dance. AWESOME….. First time experience it in a wedding dinner. It is great. I think I will borrow the idea. For my dinner, I will be having a romantic dance session for couples as well. Then, it will be followed by a session of dance floor. I will make sure that most of them dance. HAHAHA…. Make it an interesting and unforgettable one.

11.11.11

为何上帝发明了1至10，还要发明11呢？
是因为上帝想把 1 位单身男与另 1 位单身女串和在一起。
11.11.11 就是上帝特地为单身男女而创造的。
希望他们会有个美好的回忆。

UNEXPECTED

I never thought people will view my blog nowadays. I think I did not post any link to my blog. Haha… Really unexpected.

DROPS OF TEARS

On the journey back to Butterworth, my tears keep on dropping. Tried my best to hold on it, but I can’t. The more I think of you, the more counts of tears I lost. Never before I thought you are so important, but since yesterday, spontaneous biological effects tell me so. If not, I wouldn’t keep on wetting my face for a non-family like you. At first, I thought that what I did before you leave is wrong. While on the bus, I believed that what I did to you is right. Rather than giving you a nice farewell and make you have heart feeling of leaving, why not let you “BEH SONG” me so that you can leave with a lighten heart. Let me be the one that suffer everything. Love is not about letting you to suffer together with me. It is about letting you happy and free from burden all the time. I am willing to go through this hard time alone, even though it will mean double hardship without sharing it. All the best to you…

REGRET

Very regret of what I have done. Thought of giving u a surprise; that is why I tried to act cool and tried not to concern about you. Thought of giving you a surprise at the final minutes, the final moment before you fly. But these do not materialized. We have the wrong timing. I failed to see you for the last time. I also missed the chance to take personal picture with you during your convocation. All these are due to my fault. Quite regret of what I have done. Shouldn’t I treat you better, let you depart with an open heart? I really don’t know whether what I had done these while are right or wrong. I felt that I had already gone against the will of God. Overcome all obstacles and trying to make a non-feeling person to a feeling person. Should I do it again? Should I believe in destiny, the arrangement of God that does not let us meet together or should I still keep on with the hope? Consider it as a challenge from God and not a fate fixed by God? I really don’t know. Perhaps you can let me know the conclusion.

IS THAT WHAT I WANT?

Very often, my mind keep on roaming, is that what I really want? I don’t know. You can say I am not an eagerly looking upwards person, but sometimes I don’t really feel that I want to be the best among the best. In certain issue, yes, I might want to be the best among the best. But for certain issue, as long as I have satisfied with it, feel that I am sufficient with it, I am alright already. Don’t really think that I want to go up any further. Very often, I am very confused about it. Whether it is common for a person to request something in order to guarantee a better life or it is called materialistic? I have no idea. This is because I don’t really feel like want to satisfy things that other want me to do. I know they want to encourage me to be better, but sometimes that does not necessarily means that that is what I want. People understand me deep enough know that I am not the kind of like to be forced, even though it is for the betterment of myself. I prefer the way to be persuaded. By the way, I shouldn’t use the word force also since nobody is forcing me. Just that very often I feel like I am not good enough to certain people or do not meet their criteria. At the end of the story, I really don’t know whether it is alright for me to tolerate most of the time or I should just be back myself. I really don’t know.

HOPE FOR SUPRISES

I know it is hard to make it happen, but I wish it may come true.

FAMILY MATTERS THE MOST

Going to blog in mixed language this time without checking my grammar and spelling etc. Went to Genting two days ago. 2 things happened that make me feel sebak. first is about her. I may have make her angry. infringe her privacy. from what I get from my other friend, not everybody likes it. and not everybody is ok with that kind of jokes when it comes to academic results. On the way to First World Hotel, eyes are getting wet. Very seldom this happened. I only cried for 3 times if I am not mistaken. First was during my aunt's funeral. Second was the time when we talked to her spirit. She still can recognised me. Make me feel so touched. She is so real. Knows about everything. Third time was during my birthday. Maybe last year or 2 years ago birthday, when my whole family celebrated a early birthday for me. Not a grand one, just buy a birthday cake and sang a song for me. Just like what we did when we were young. Never had that kind of birthday celebration with full family members since Form Four. That might be the last time as well. Not sure about the fourth time. Cant remember whether my failure to get a tutorship or some rewards during my master degree counted as fourth time. Back to First World Hotel, thank God that my parents didnt realise about it. During the one night stay there, I lost quite a lot there. Going back to the room and get my bag before proceeding to the bus station, my parents gave me two hundreds. Not wanting the money at first. My principle is, for gambling matter, if you win, spend it like you like; if you lost, shouldn't get or reclaim from anyone even though they win it. I already came out of the room, but my mum rushed to the door, reopened the door and dragged me in. They forcefully asked me to take the money. Felt really touched by it that time. Not about the amount of it, but is about the feeling of it. Came out of the room and felt sebak. Eyes were getting wet again while on the way to the bus station. On the way, suddenly my mind tells me, my parents care about me, they love me, they will do everything for the good of me. They are even willing to sacrifice everything for me. Past incidents came into the mind as well. Am thinking about a question, should I continue to sacrifice for a person that don't really know how to appreciate or I should accept a person who am willing to sacrifice together? But one thing no doubt, family always comes first. Don't ask me whether you (friends, girlfriend or wife) or my family matters the most. My answer will definitely hurts you.

ICY MOUNTAIN

A Chinese proverb says, “Break the icy mountain”. I will say, “Melt the icy mountain”. Haha…

EXAMINATIONS

Have a lots of things to think of. Exams, thesis, assignments and all others. Haiz…

伟大与愚蠢

我不知道我所做的一些是对或错。我不知道这叫伟大或愚蠢。伟大与愚蠢也只是一线之差。

THREE DAYS HAD PASSED

It is not easy to do what we suppose to do. It is easy for us to say give up but it is definitely not easy to do so. The worst thing is when we do not know which direction we should go for. Really hope that someone or the God can gives us direction or helps us to reaffirm our stance.

PTD PAC

A few more days to go for Pegawai Tadbir dan Diplomatik Assessment Center. Worry about the jogging part the most. Just had some jogging yesterday, but the whole feet seem to be painful. Hope that everything will be alright. Although I have lots of things to think about especially about my future planning, but I will make sure that I will do my best for the assessment, not to be affected.

I THINK I KNOW THE REASONS ALREADY

I think I can guess the reasons already why you do not allow me to post on your Facebook wall. Maybe one of the reasons is your roommate. The other reason might be people that you do not wish to let them see it. It is true that shy is one of the reasons, but perhaps competitors is the reason as well.

I HAVE DONE ALL I CAN

This might be a risk, a very high risk, but I did take it. I also don’t know why I like to play risky games. Slow planning might not make the situation so bad, but an aggressive action and pushing further can prove my worthiness. Of course, if failed, will happen just like what it will be. The result is definitely not satisfactory, but I will learn to accept it. Try to adapt it. Just like the lyric in a song; human life will have up and down. I might not be on the lucky side all the time, but I will bless the luckier one.

ONE WEEK HAS PASSED

It is almost one week already. I am still thinking about things that I should not think about. Anyhow, I believe that I should still do my part. Hope that something will change in the future.

不必再烦恼选哪一间了

终于不用再想了。选了也没用。还是比较实际一点。乖乖的一个人在房间做论文吧。

FUNNY SECURITY GUARD IN NATIONAL ARCHIEVE

Long time didn’t blog already. A bit busy recently. Running here and there to get my application of extra credit hours to be approved so that I can graduate within 1 year, doing my assignments, paying back my working owe to my boss, applying multiple scholarships and jobs, fulfilling my promises of hanging out etc. But today, a very “interesting security guard” encourage me to blog about this. She told me not to use my handphone in research hall. Not even to sms. Can’t even put it in silent mode. Her reason is, the signboard say so. Letting us to bring in our handphone is already considered as lenient. So, we cannot use it. HAHAHAHA……. She thought the hall is Parliament is it? Even in Parliament, MPs and high-rank officers are allowed to bring in handphone. If not, how to communicate with others. How am I going to communicate with my boss whether she needs the materials I found or not. Not sure whether it is coincidence or not related incidence, a foreigner went out to the front desk and talk (The intonation is polite, so is either he is asking for something or he is just the same as me, complaining in a polite and soft manner). Not sure what they are talking about. But what I can hear from him (the foreigner) is “I use it to online”. And I did see him using his handphone (I heard from the front desk that it is an i-pod) quite often while he is in the hall. Plus he did not bring any laptop. So I suspect he is using it to surf the net. If that is the case, is it means that he cannot use his i-pod as well. VERY VERY FUNNY. The rationale for government offices banning usage of handphone is to avoid distracting others, not to ban it totally. I can understand that calling is prohibited. But should sms, using handphone to surf net, check details or even look at the time be banned to? Very funny guard. Anyhow, I did make a formal query to the head of department asking whether sms using silent mode without distracting others is allowed. Let’s wait for his reply.

BACK TO UKM AGAIN

Coming back to UKM again after a tired but wonderful Royals Debate in UTHM. Back to UKM means back to classes, assignments, works etc… Going to fight with Mr. Stress again

TIRED WEEK

Nice trip but superb tired. Still have to start working immediately after coming back. Got thesis to do some more. Haiz…..